what do you guys think of my cause and effect essay?
Before I went to Yemen, I had so many girls telling me so many different things about Yemeni people. I use to be so interested in Yemen .I wanted to know all details like what is ok to wear what isn’t. what kind of food they have what kinds of malls , I just wanted to know everything. Some girls use to always compare the USA to Yemen. Most of the time they use to extradite about some things. They would tell me that they use to laugh at there accents and who ever goes back to Yemen from the USA they always make jokes about how they dress ,eat ,talk and walk. That they would say that we are Americanized and that we forgot about our background and where we come from and don’t respect our couture .
When I got to Yemen, I use to be so scared to do anything. I would be nerves to talk. I use eat with my hands so they wont make fun of me, like what my friends told me that I should suspect them to do. Even the way I dresses I changed that also. I would wear long baggy skirts with hoddies. When it came to walking, I would walk slow with my back straight like a soldier and I use to put my head down. I changed my self big time, to the point where the people around me thought I was a weird American girl. I didn’t want to be a weird American girl . I just wanted to fit in so nobody makes jokes about me that I was raised an American way and I don’t do what the rest of the girls in Yemen do in our culture.
At the end my cousin came up too me and said “AJ are you ok? I hear a lot about American/Yemeni girls that there very open minded. You act like you just came from a cave. Is there something wrong? Why are you acting weird and not your self. we heard so much good things about you but your acting different your acting as if we come from a different plant and not normal people. You dress weird you don’t even want to talk to us and you even eat different. Look it doesn’t mean your in Yemen you think of us old fashion, no we are not we are just like you guys its just we live in different countries. We don’t judge anyone if that’s what you thinking. Its ok just be your self.” I was in shock how nice she was. My friends told me Yemeni people are mean and rude. As soon as my cousin finished talking to me a ran into my room I changed the way I was dressed up. I also went to the kitchen to eat with a spoon cause I thought fitting in with Yemeni people during dinner is eating with your own bare hand. But I was wrong so were my friend that told me all these non-real stories . The effected me so much they made me feel dramatized of when I get to Yemen what people are going to say about me. I didn’t want no one to make jokes about me that I was Americanized I tried to fit in to the point where they thought I was a weird American girl. Now I learned is to never to believe people but to experience it first and see everything in my own eyes then judge for myself.
Answer on Can someone please check my essay for grammatical errors, run on and fragmented sentences?
"I *used* to be so interested in Yemen." (period after Yemen, not before .I)
"What kind of food they have, what kind of malls. I just wante dto know everything."
"Some girls *used* to compare.."
"Most of the time they used to *exaggerate* things"
"...dress, eat, talk and walk"
"don't respect our culture."
"I *used* to be so scared"
"I would be nervous"
"I *used* to eat with my hands"
"...friends told me to expect them to do."
"I even changed the way I dressed."
"I would wear long, baggy skirts with hoodies."
"I didn't want to be a weird American girl." <- punctuation
"I just wanted to fit in so nobody *made* jokes about me having been raised in the American way and didn't do what the Yemen girls did."
"American / Yemeni girls - that they're very open-minded."
"Why are you acting weird and not yourself?"
...and more. Keep an eye out for verb tense and punctuation placement. Sadly, I have to go, but I hope I've gotten you started.